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I Don’t Need You to Hurt Because I Am Hurting


Back again with another blog post for you. Today, we're diving into another topic – a heart check. Let's talk about the beautiful thing I've noticed in my partner and Husfriend. You know, being an entrepreneur brings a whole lot of frustration, tension, offense, and stress that can really mess with our peace. During a chat about a recent business situation, he leaned in and planted a gentle kiss on my forehead, saying, "I Don’t Need You to Hurt Because I Am Hurting." It's a reminder that sometimes, pain in one area of our life can seep into others if we let it. Maybe it's the day you had to let go of a manager for breaking policy again, or the sting of a random 1-star review on social media. It could be a crazy business cycle and you're running on fumes. It's in those times when we're tempted to lash out or seek validation that an important lesson unfolds – dealing maturely with others means seeking healing. Yep, it's all about emotional maturity.


Understanding the Temptation

Now, let's break down that temptation. When we're hurting, our natural instinct is to want someone else to feel what we're feeling or to lash out. But wait a second, does their pain actually take away ours? It's time to shift our perspective toward healing. This mature approach means understanding that everyone carries their own baggage. Just like we don't want our pain to define us, we can't let someone else's pain define our business or relationships. And we definitely can't let our pain spill over and cause more damage. Instead, it's about realizing that while we can offer compassion, we're responsible for seeking our own healing.


Empathy is a beautiful thread that connects us, but it shouldn't tangle us up in someone else's emotions to the point where we lose sight of our journey. As marriagepreneurs, we don't habitually enable dysfunctional behavior. Remember, seeking personal healing isn't selfish; it's necessary for a productive, long term relationship! It's self-awareness in action. Below are five steps we follow for personal healing:

5 steps we follow for personal healing

1. Self-Reflection: Take a moment to understand your pain's source and how it's affecting your thoughts, actions, and relationships.

2. Seek Professional Help: When pain becomes overwhelming, seeking therapy or counseling arms you with constructive ways to navigate it.

3. Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself kindly, just like you would a friend. Own your pain without judgment.

4. Set Boundaries: Let those around you know your limits. You're here to support, but you're on a healing journey too.

5. Focus on Growth: Channel your energy into personal growth and finding positivity in life.


The RIPPLE Effect

Here's the magical part: By embracing this mature approach, a ripple effect begins. As we focus on our own growth and healing, we become better at genuinely supporting and empathizing with others. Our relationships transform from shared pain to spaces where mutual growth and understanding flourish. And those residual effects impact our businesses.



Remember, there's a flip side to this coin: Lashing out during moments of stress or frustration with your spouse can spell trouble. It might seem like a quick release in the heat of the moment, but those actions can scar your relationship long-term. Hurtful words and deeds create emotional wounds that need time to mend, eroding trust and closeness. This cycle can breed toxicity, turning productive conversations into heated arguments. Over time, it weakens the emotional bond between you two, making it tougher to handle challenges as a team. So, it's crucial to find healthier ways to cope and communicate – respectful dialogue lays the foundation for a strong partnership.


To sum it up, it's alright to hurt, and it's alright to take time for yourself. But always remember that true healing starts from within. By addressing our wounds, we pave the way for better relationships, personal growth, and a more meaningful journey ahead.


We are not better than, just different from. We are married. Stay strong, my friends!



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