I remember it like it was yesterday. There I was. Standing on the edge looking down into the black abyss. No bottom in sight.
As fear wrapped its icy grip around me, I felt a surge of adrenaline coursing through my veins. My mind became a chaotic storm of anxious thoughts, each one more menacing than the last. It's as if my brain had become a prison, trapping me within a web of worst-case scenarios and paralyzing doubts.
No Turning Back
What was I thinking?!!!
My body tensed up, muscles tightened like steel cables, as if preparing for an imminent threat. “JESUS!” I murmured. My heart raced, pounding in my chest, its rapid beats echoing my escalating fear. Every breath felt shallow, as if the air itself was constricted, making it difficult to fill my lungs completely.
During our extended vacation in Mexico, Jesse and I decided to do one thing we have never done, daily. This day, we agreed to spend the day riding ATVs and exploring a cenote (pronounced see no’ tay). Before that day, I didn’t even know what a cenote was!
In simple terms, a cenote is a water-filled sinkhole formed when the limestone bedrock collapses. It’s a cave filled with water!!!
The guide had given us thorough instructions. He secured our gear. Then he quizzed us to see if we understood what to do and what not to do.
“Are you ready to jump?” he asked. "Are you?"
ForK in the RoAD
As business owners, we often find ourselves at the proverbial fork in the road. Do I stay or do I go? Am I really cut out for this? Should I risk the extra money when I am not sure of the ROI? Should I keep doing this? What if…? The questioning is endless.
When Jesse and I started food trucking, I could have filled two truck beds full of questions like these. And sometimes today, I can find myself trapped in a cycle of anticipatory anxiety, constantly worrying about what might go wrong. The fear of making a mistake or facing rejection can overwhelm, making even the simplest decision feel like an insurmountable obstacle. There are days I question my own capabilities, am unproductive and find myself drowning in a sea of self-doubt.
“Ma’am, are you ready?” he asked me.
As I shook my head in agreement, I could hear my Husfriend’s reassuring voice saying “yes, she is ready.”
That’s when it happened… I DECIDED!
The paralysis that had spread like a suffocating fog, enveloping my entire being, disappeared. I jumped.
There is nothing wrong with feeling the emotion of fear about the unfamiliar. There is absolutely something wrong with allowing that emotion to dictate your next jump.
To be continued…